Somnum Exterreri
by TellamWhat
Summary: Aqua wakes up from a nightmare and reaches for the Light to comfort her. It doesn't. An AU in which a culmination of nightmares, Aqua's fears of weakness, and her protectiveness over Terra and Ventus lead her down a road paved with good intentions. Rated M for safety.
1. Chapter 1

_Terra and Ventus were going to fall._

 _They were surrounded by shapeless forms that chipped away at them. Their armour was in tatters, their Keyblades limp by their sides._

 _They were going to fall._

 _She tried to run towards them, she tried to scream at them, she tried to conjure up some spell to save them. Nothing worked. She was frozen – a silent, horrified observer to the destruction of her family._

 _"It's because of your weakness, Aqua." Her Master's tired, melancholy, voice filtered in from behind her. She couldn't turn her head to look at him. She was forced to watch as Terra was blindsided by a blur and as Ventus was grabbed by a smear. "They're going to die, and it's because of your weakness. They relied on you, and you have failed them."_

 _Help them, please, she begged silently._

 _"I cannot. Either my Apprentices embrace my teachings and triumph in the Light, or they are beyond my saving." His voice paused. "And you have already proven yourself a failure," he whispered in sorrow. Ventus disappeared under a tide of the shapeless beings as Terra fell to a knee, then on his stomach, as they closed in around him. "I'm sorry Aqua. But this is all your fault."_

 _She finally broke the spell sealing her mouth, and emptied her heart through her voice._

* * *

Aqua launched from sleep into wakefulness, her cry of terror petering out as she woke. The images of her dream, faded and fuzzy, bounced around her uncomprehending and terrified mind. Breathing ragged, brow sweating, she ran to her bedroom window and threw it open, feeling the breeze of the night chill the beads running down her face.

Never before had she felt such genuine helplessness. Even as the edges of the dream began to fade into wakefulness and the details blurred, the emotion stuck. Pure, bone-deep helplessness. She slumped onto the sill, rubbing her eyes.

She'd become a Keyblade Wielder, apprentice to one of the most powerful individuals she'd ever met, and yet her nightmare played on every single strand of terror she'd ever thought, ever felt. An inability to protect that she loved and the inadequacy of her training, of her very beliefs, to save _anything_ in the face of consumption by the Darkness.

Her gaze drifted towards the door. Beyond it, hopefully slumbering, were two of the most important people in her life. This was a familiar act – Aqua often burnt the midnight oil reading, stressing, or simply feeling too restless to fall asleep. Most times the glances helped to reassure her, for beyond that door she had two of the closest friends she could ever remember having, people who would fight side by side, back to back, with and for her. That the feeling was mutual was what made their bond so strong. Terra could be arrogant at times, and Ventus was eager at best and dangerously impulsive at worst, but when all was said and done they would be there for her, and she for them.

Tonight, she felt no such feeling of reassurance from the glance. Dread opened deeper in her gut, threatening to pull her under. The dream itself was all but gone now, but if she couldn't defend herself from whatever was in it in her _own mind_ , how could she hope to protect them in reality?

She prided herself on her mind. It was, she believed, what made her so proficient with magic. Where Terra and Ventus preferred to learn by doing, Aqua always found that in schooling her own thoughts, in research, she could find the answer to almost anything. It didn't mean that she had all the answers – it just meant she considered things more than Terra and Ventus, which usually meant going to the people who did have the answers, i.e. Master Eraqus, and using that information to _independently_ strengthen herself.

If her mind was rebelling, her one place of total dominion, the thing she truly prided herself on as an Apprentice opposed to Terra and Ventus, how could she ever be expected to help protect them? Without her calm, controlled mind she was a poorer mage and strategist, dead weight to her adoptive brothers. Scratch that, more than dead weight, an _active liability_ , and hardly the independent prodigy she wanted to be.

The breeze had long turned chilly and the sweat had dried, leaving her feeling clammy and cold, but she left the window open and stayed sat on the sill. Tonight, she needed the option to escape, to breath fresher air. The room itself felt stale, and the shadows cast by the moonlight seemed deeper and darker than usual. Logically, she knew that it was simply the product of her nightmare and the terror it had brought, but her mind wasn't feeling very logical at the moment, and her senses were telling her that the illusions were really there.

That she was in danger. That she was defenceless. That she was weak.

The thudding of her heart had slowed, but there was no way she was going to go back to sleep tonight. Not while it felt like there was something in the room with her, waiting until she was at her most vulnerable to strike.

No. Tonight, she would be meditating, quietly practicing her form with Rainfall, and mastering her control over her spells. She lifted herself from the windowsill and moved to the small clear space at the heart of her room. Holding the Keyblade gave her some small comfort, made her feel as though she had control again, while the flame dancing around her fingers banished much of the darkness around her and warmed her hand.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe that such a foolish thing had left her so rattled. Nightmares were something children had to deal with, not Keyblade Apprentices who were only a few months away from becoming Masters themselves.

"Get it together, Aqua," she muttered to herself, "if the Master saw you like this he'd be embarrassed." She grounded herself in Eraqus' teachings and pulled the light from her heart, wrapping it around her as a shroud to ward off the darkness.

It was weaker than she was used to. She centred herself, tried to strengthen it, but in her addled state she could only dull the emotions of her nightmare, not banish them. Even so, while weaknes still nipped at her, the pervasive feelings of total helplessness faded enough for her to focus back on her forms, and so she spent the rest of the night in practice.

Daybreak came with its own problems. Today, Eraqus would be preparing them for their tasks in the Mark of Mastery. In many of the records she had read, this wouldn't have been a problem for the Apprentice. They were expected to work hard, train hard, learn, and ultimately prepare to wage a crusade against the ever-present darkness under the gentle tutelage of wise, collected Masters.

Eraqus was collected, and most assuredly calm, but his methods of tutelage were, to say the least, not gentle.

She stumbled out of her room as the first beams of sunlight struck her rug. It would probably be another hour or so before either Ven or Terra got up, so she headed down to the kitchen and lit the stove.

The first omelette had just finished as Master Eraqus came in, eyes slightly dulled with sleep but otherwise no worse for wear for the early hour.

"Morning, Aqua."

"Good morning, Master. Sleep well?" she asked, putting the omelette on a plate and seasoning it with salt, as Terra usually liked it. She ignored the strange shiver down her spine.

"Hm," he grunted, dodging the question. He quickly made himself some tea and sat down at the table. "Not to impose, but could I have an omelette too?"

Aqua turned around surprised. "You're eating with us today, Master?" He nodded and smiled.

"If it's no trouble, of course," he said with a note of humour. It never was, with Aqua.

She smiled at him, then turned back to the cooker. "It'll be about a half-hour before they're all ready." He nodded, turning back down to his tea and closing his eyes.

It was a rare day that Master Eraqus ate with them in the morning. They always shared lunch and dinner, but he often ate breakfast in his own rooms or in the study before coming out to train them.

The two were in contented silence until the voices of Ventus and Terra filtered down the hall.

"I told you, it's not the only time it's happened, Terra! You gotta believe me, every time I use Fire, my eyebrows keep getting burnt! I think it's cursed!"

"Ah, come on. Ven, you just need to learn to control it. Keep practicing, and you'll get it in a week, I promise." The two rounded the corner as Terra ruffled Ventus' hair.

"Terra, trust me," Ventus cried as he tried to smooth the pointy mop down, "Aero, I'm great with. Blizzard, I mean, yeah, whatever, after that one time I was fine, but-"

"That _one time_ was when you froze the water pipes through the whole castle, Ventus," Eraqus called. Aqua snickered – Ventus had been on cleaning chores for a month after that. Terra and Ven both looked at the Master in surprise.

"Master, you're eating with us today?" Terra asked.

"Indeed I am. I wanted to talk this morning, I suppose." Eraqus sipped at his tea, refusing to give anything away. If Aqua wasn't as tired, she'd be trying to figure out his _actual_ reason, but as of right then she was focusing on flipping the omelette and keeping her eyelids open at the same time.

The two took their usual seats, quietly chatting away with Eraqus occasionally jumping in to add something. Aqua looked over her shoulder. Ventus was glowing with enthusiasm, as per usual, while Terra was listening to his struggles with the Fire spell with the face of a big brother – interested but amused by their antics. She finished the last omelette – her own – and dished out the breakfast which was met with groans of "finally" and nods of appreciation.

A gourmet chef she was not, but she could make a fine omelette.

Instead of joining the conversation as was her usual fare she watched Ventus and Terra as they engaged in their usual back and forth. Ventus was absorbed in the conversation and the food completely, but both Terra and Eraqus kept shooting her looks as though confused at her silence.

She stifled a yawn, instead taking a deep slow breath in and out through her nose, trying to not droop into her omelette.

Good grief. It had been years since she'd been this tired in the morning. Her nightmare must have drained her far more than she'd realised. She sipped at the small mug of coffee she'd made herself.

What even _was_ that dream about? It nipped at her just beyond her reach – she couldn't quite grasp it, only knowing that it had left her shaken and sweating. Something bad, then, but what exactly would-

"Aqua?"

Her name being called pulled her out of her reverie, and she glanced up from her plate and around the table. It had been Ventus that had called her. "Er, what was that?" Both Terra and Eraqus were looking at her in mild confusion.

"I said, did you ever struggle to get the hang of any spells?"

She considered that. "Well, not really." Ventus seemed to deflate, so she rushed on, "but then again, I've always struggled more with the physical side of combat. You took to that like a fish to water." Ventus preened under the praise as Eraqus nodded in agreement.

"She's right, Ventus. Some people simply have natural inclinations towards certain styles." He sipped at his tea, having taken the full attention of the table. "Not only that, but you must remember that you are a couple of years behind Terra and Aqua. I've no doubt you'll catch up to them in time."

Strangely, Ven seemed less pleased with his Master's praise than with Aqua's. Had she been more awake, Aqua would have analysed that. As it was, she was busy trying to make both eyes blink at the same time.

The last of the food had been cleared away and Aqua took the dishes to the side for Terra and Ventus to clean. She sat back down at the table as they started at the sink. Eraqus quickly left, thanking Aqua for the food, and quietly stating that they'd meet at nine in the Great Hall for the day's training.

Aqua nursed her coffee as though it was her lifeline, absently watching as Terra and Ventus worked in union to wash the plates and cutlery.

"You know, Ven," she said, surprising both herself and Ventus, "if you're struggling that much over Fire, me and Terra'll help you out."

Terra looked down at the younger boy. "Yeah, little man. I mean, Aqua'd be more help than me when it comes down to spellwork, but I can give you a hand."

"Yeah, as a target," Aqua snickered. He shot her a look of faux betrayal as Ventus chuckled.

"That'd be sweet. Thanks, guys."

Neither responded. Aqua sipped at her coffee with a smile, and Terra mussed Ven's hair with soapy hands.

His cry of indignation and frenzied attempts to dry his head made both Terra and Aqua laugh heartily, and they shared a look of affection over the boy they considered their younger brother.

Aqua tried not to think about the strange lump in her throat at the sight of them, together, happy, and oh so vital, and ignored the strange cutting sensation that she'd failed them somehow.

* * *

 **Hello everyone.**

 **This little piece was directly inspired by WavesBlade's Road to Dusk series. I hope that I won't ape it directly, but please do note that it did spur me to write this, and so if you can see any parallels, it's due to that.**

 **I hope this opening chapter piqued your interest. Please tell me what you liked, disliked, how you thought things could have been improved in a Review. Reviews are like gold dust to fan-fic writers, so please believe me when I say that I'll read and consider each and every one of them.**

 **Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the ride.**


	2. Chapter 2

"There shall be no quarter given today, Apprentices. The dark will never back down," he paced back and forth before them on the podium in the hall, "and most assuredly will never accept your surrender. It is victory, or death."

He paused, releasing a slow breath. "Or worse still," Aqua saw his eyes flicker to the rightmost throne before refocussing on them, "corruption by the dark."

His armoured boots clicked against the wood in imitation of the crack of a whip, and Aqua couldn't help but feel like a slave watching her driver. Stealing a look at Ventus and Terra, she saw that they had no such reservations. Terra was eager to prove himself to Eraqus, and Ventus was eager to prove himself to Terra and her. She stifled a sigh.

"Apprentices, to the mountaintop. I shall join you shortly."

"Yes, Master," the three chorused in reply. Aqua turned to walk with her friends, but Eraqus' hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"You two go on. Aqua, I'd like to talk a moment," he commanded. The apprentices shared a look of concern but at Aqua's smile of reassurance they continued their way out of the hall.

"Aqua." She turned to him, barely disguised trepidation dancing on her face. "You've not been your usual quick self today, and they are bags under your eyes. What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Just a bad night, Master. I couldn't get to sleep, that's all." Her voice was low and quiet, but she forced herself not to slur. Eraqus raised a brow at her response, inviting her to continue, but Aqua remained silent.

"Aqua, I've trained you since you were a child. You stay awake more nights than you sleep, and usually it doesn't even slow you down. I've never mentioned it as you seem to do fine regardless. This isn't a 'bad night', you look like you're ill," he said in the hushed tones of concern.

Ah, she thought with chagrin, he did know about her night-time habits after all. She'd always thought she was rather good at burning the midnight oil with no-one the wiser. "Just a particularly difficult night, Master. I'll be fine." The hall was silent for a few moments, and she deliberately looked straight ahead, avoiding his eyes.

"Hmpf." He gave her a searching look, but eventually decided to believe her. "Very well. I'll offer you the opportunity to postpone today's training to tomorrow then, let you-"

Aqua interrupted, "No, Master, I'm fine really. No need, honest." She met his gaze, pleading for him to move on and let her catch up to the others, straining against the lead of her eyelids.

The very last thing she wanted was to appear weak, to allow the feelings the nightmare had conjured to become realised. No, she'd not let her friends down by not standing with them today. It didn't matter how well, or unwell, she felt.

He capitulated with a sigh. "Alright. If you're sure you're up for it. Just remember, today is going to be a trial, Aqua. I want you to be, if not at your best, then at least good enough to stay safe."

"Yes Master. I'll be fine." She gave a quick bow, then turned and ran to catch up with her fellow Apprentices.

"And no running in the castle, _again!_ " Eraqus called out to her as she rounded the corner. Her footsteps slowed, and he chuckled under his breath. They were all still children at the end of the day – soon-to-be Keyblade Masters or not.

* * *

Terra and Ventus were sparring in their armour by the time she reached the mountaintop. She sat quietly, having noticed that neither had spotted her through their concentration on one another.

Ventus' form was as it always was: probing, quick, and vicious; too close for comfort and never where you wanted him. Terra was never on the backfoot because often by the time he had taken the step back Ventus was behind him probing for weaknesses there too. Ven stayed low and played dirty – always had. His strikes were purposeful but rarely carried any commitment, meaning that he often wore down his opponents with a multitude of weaker strikes. A particular favourite tactic of his, one she noted he was using now, was to use the armour of his opponent against them.

She watched as he slide between Terra's legs, snagged Wayward Wind behind the metal prongs around Terra's ankles and pulled them to throw him off balance, then freed his Keyblade and prepared to deliver a savagely quick blow to where Terra would fall.

But Terra wasn't there. In what was, in her belief, an incredibly typically Terra move, he dug his Keyblade into the ground and used his raw strength to transform his stumble into a roll away from Ventus. Now Terra had the initiative again, the longer range of Earthshaker allowing him to make swipes and swings that, if any landed, would instantly end the fight. Such was Terra's way of combat. Slow, but with the weight and power of a small army behind each swing. He never probed defences because he believed if he tried hard enough he could break through them. He was often right, Aqua thought with a wry smile.

Now, with the added distance his recovery had given him, Terra was making large sweeps and strikes that prevented Ventus from closing in again, forcing him to take wilder and wilder dives and rolls to avoid the crushing blows from the advancing Terra.

The younger apprentice was slowing though. Terra feinted a sweep right but swung it in and transformed it halfway through into a vertical slash across the length of Ventus' body. Had the younger boy been fresh, he would have seen the move coming (Terra was competent, but often predictable) and closed in, taking the offensive again. He was, however, quickly tiring, and the resulting roll wasn't fast enough to avoid the slash smacking into one of the horns of his helmet and launching him across the clearing.

"Careful!" she cried as she rose to her feet in worry. Terra looked over in surprise at her, and Ventus looked over when he stopped sliding along the ground as well. The two took off their helmets, both drenched in sweat, and smiled as they saw her.

"Ah, you worry too much, Aqua," Terra called out as he impaled Earthshaker into the ground and leaned on it, catching his breath. "Ventus is fine, aren't you Ven?" The younger boy didn't reply. "Ven?" Terra's voice went from confidence to concern in a heartbeat as both Aqua and Terra saw the swaying of his head and vacant look in Ventus' eyes.

When he didn't reply again to either of their calls, instead falling onto his back, both rushed over in panic.

"Ven! Oh, shit, I'm sorry Ven!" The two knelt by him, Aqua with a Curaga on her lips, prepared to start bringing him out of a concussion.

Until she saw his eyes sharpen, his lips turn into up into a devilish smirk, and noticed that Terra was kneeling over Wayward Wind.

The ring of metal bounded down the mountainside as Ventus' Keyblade made contact with Terra's armoured crotch.

There was a beat of silence.

And Terra groaned, slumping over onto his side.

To her own credit, she instantly started trying to comfort Terra, even if the comfort was ruined by her laughing so hard she began hiccupping. Ventus was spasming around too, having moved past the point of audibly laughing and reduced to giving out small wheezes, face red and frozen into a mask of joy.

Was it cruel? Oh, most definitely. But Terra was the first to recover of the lot of them, the armour taking the vast majority of the damage, leaving him with only a slightly wounded ego and dully throbbing crotch. He watched with a put-upon frown as Aqua and Ventus slowly recovered from their fits of humour.

"Alright, alright. I get it. That was a low blow, Ventus." He scowled, but there was no real heat in it. Worse things had happened in spars between them, and if it had happened to either one of them he'd have laughed just as hard too – just as soon as he was certain no real damage had been done.

"Oh yeah?" Aqua asked between dying chuckles. "I remember a _particular incident_ where my chest was-"

"Okay, I get it!" Terra rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "I've said sorry before. And besides, I was a kid, I didn't know they were sensitive."

Aqua rolled her eyes playfully, still laying on the floor beside Ventus who was slowly calming, looking between them questioningly. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing", they both replied instantly.

"Anyways," Aqua continued, "low blows are sort of Ven's thing Terra. You should have expected something like that."

"I represent that comment," Ventus said with mock severity.

" _Resent_ , Ven," Aqua corrected.

"Yup, that's what I said," he replied with a cheeky grin. Aqua's eyes were beginning to ache from rolling so much (something her already tired state wasn't helping with).

"You do fight dirty, though, little man." Terra righted himself from his slumped position, reclining on the ground with his friends.

"Hey! I'm not little!"

Aqua and Terra shared a look. Ventus suddenly had two sets of disbelieving eyes on him.

Ventus grumbled. "I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'll get taller."

Terra and Aqua shared a chuckle at that.

The three caught their breaths from their exhaustion and laughter, basking in the warmth of the Land's sun unfettered by clouds. Days such as these made nights such as hers bearable, their companionship dulling the fears and uncertainties that her mysterious dream had brought.

She did, however, feel a small lump in her throat at the thought that she couldn't protect them. The rebellion of her mind the night before had shaken her, and even though she no longer felt helpless, the fact that it could rebel again made her uneasy.

Eventually, her lack of sleep began to catch up to her. Eyelids drooping, she slowly dropped onto the grass. There was faint birdsong, and light breeze. Her friends were beside her. She felt calm, peaceful. The light of the sun was warming her own Light, and she put aside all thoughts of inadequacy, all fears of letting Terra and Ven down. Simply enjoying the moment with them, as she slowly drifted off to-

"Wait, wasn't the Master coming?"

Nothing moved for a few seconds as the three processed what Ven had said. Aqua began to feel a creeping sensation up her back. Her eyes shot open.

"Terra. Ven. We need to move." The two looked down at her. "We need to move _now_."

The three scattered out of the way just as a whistle heralded the arrival of a fire spell that scorched the ground they had been laying on. It wouldn't have killed any of them, of that Aqua was sure, but hurt? Oh yeah, it would have hurt. Aqua covered her eyes and face to prevent the explosion of dust from blinding her.

The smoke cleared, revealing Eraqus clad in his armour, Master Defender in hand.

"I trust you were all preparing for my arrival, and not laying around not doing anything?" he asked, obviously smiling though it was obscured by the helmet of his armour.

The three each cleared their throats in embarrassment.

"The training today is as such – each of you will have to fight me for three hours. Anything short of a near-fatal or life-changing injury will be ignored, so I hope you have all either mastered the Cure spells or brought some potions.

"The training will continue until you either fall unconscious, put me in a position in which I have to surrender, or three hours pass." He looked at each of them individually across the clearing. "Today, you will be learning how to fight against an enemy you do not know the capabilities of, a ruthless enemy who wishes to defeat you at all costs. This is not a spar, apprentices. This is combat." He paused for a moment to let it sink in, before continuing, "I will also ask that for the next two days or so you refrain from casting any healing spells or using potions on yourselves or one another. This is primarily an exercise in endurance. I will heal any real injuries, but your bodies must feel the strain, must understand it's limits, and adapt to move past them. Part of that is suffering stiffness, bruises and the like over the next few days."

The three shared a look of sheer unease. They'd never fought their Master in earnest before – he'd lightly sparred with them when they had first started learning Keyblade techniques, but he eventually expected them to spar with one another, to improve independently.

This? This was a different beast altogether. They had no idea what form he took, whether he favoured offense or defence, how he used magic, or even his footwork.

"Ventus, since you won't be taking the exam for a few years, you'll be first." He turned to the others. "You two are welcome to watch, however I will ask that you do not watch each other, in the interests of keeping my techniques and capabilities a secret."

Aqua and Terra nodded in understanding and backed away to the edge of the clearing to watch the fight take place. Aqua's stomach began to flutter at the thought of Terra and Ventus getting seriously hurt, but she quashed the feeling. Eraqus wouldn't go too far, she was sure.


	3. Chapter 3

Ventus swallowed hard but set his face into one of determination. One thing they'd learned quickly was how to recover from strenuous exercise quickly (or at least push through the pain), so despite that fact that his muscles must have been burning from his earlier sparring he stood confident, replaced his helmet, and dropped into his regular stance. Aqua felt a shot of pride run through her – the boy had changed, improved, so much since he'd arrived that distant day, eyes vacant and mind blank. She saw now a boy ready to prove his worth, prepared, despite the difference in skill between him and his friends, to stand beside them now and face the challenge before them. She had no doubt that he'd catch up in time.

And yet, as she looked over at Eraqus, she couldn't help but feel the need to rush in, stand in front of Ven, and protect him. No one truly knew what he was capable of, what powers he had, or even how he stood. Sure, that was part of the exercise – fighting a superior enemy whose capabilities you don't know – but to have Ven (who still reminded her of the agonised, blank child he'd been when he'd first arrived sometimes) fight their own Master, while knowing nothing about how to really fight him?

A part of her couldn't help but feel that it was unnecessarily cruel. She was convinced that Eraqus would go easy on Ventus, being only a young apprentice, but still held deep, _deep_ reservations about it all.

Her Master was still, samurai-styled armour making look more like a statue than a human combatant. He was in no particular stance, nor readying for any form. If she didn't know better, Aqua would have guessed that he wasn't ready to fight or was cocky enough to be unprepared.

Battle was joined when, somewhat predictably, Ventus dashed in, blurring into Eraqus' face and swinging. The attack was met with a forceful parry which dug Wayward Wind into the ground as Eraqus rounded with a fist full of Firaga. The resultant punch to Ventus' back made Aqua wince, as he flew across the clearing, armour steaming as he rolled and came to a stop face down in the dirt.

"Ventus, are you okay?" Eraqus asked, though he remained in a readied posture.

Ven swung a hand up and gave a vague approximation of a thumbs-up. It appeared that, though singed, he was not yet burnt out. He clambered to his feet, called his Keyblade back in a flurry of light and readied himself again, despite his still-smoking armour.

* * *

As the three hour mark passed Ventus, battered, bruised, and in no small part bleeding, finally collapsed in a heap at the edge of the mountaintop. Aqua could see that his hands and face, bare thanks to his decision early in the second hour to sacrifice protection for greater mobility and control of his Keyblade, were almost completely scarlet, and Wayward Wind's grip looked rusted from the claret of its owner being rubbed into it time and time again.

It took every ounce of self-control Aqua had to not rush up to him and look over his injuries. All thoughts of her tiredness were out the window. The stress from watching Ventus get beaten down time and time again had her pulling her hair at points, and though her eyes still felt leaden, she couldn't even _think_ about closing them when watching the fight. Instead, she resumed her pacing, looking back and forth between her adoptive brother and her Master. She'd forgone sitting at around the twenty minute mark, unable to stay still.

Yes, the training was going to be difficult, she accepted that, but for Eraqus to go _that_ far on _Ventus_? A child? He'd crossed a line.

Terra wasn't even here - he'd prowled off the mountaintop at the hour mark, unable to watch as Ventus was beaten decisively again, and again, and again, all eagerness to prove himself to Eraqus fading in the light of the brutal training.

That wasn't to say that she hadn't seen Eraqus pull his swings. She'd seen at least a dozen openings where he could have persecuted Ven's slipping form with extreme prejudice but had chosen not to. She didn't believe that her Master was trying to hurt Ventus. She did, however, believe that he was holding him to _their_ standards, despite the fact that she and Terra been apprentices for far longer than Ventus, were further along in their training, and simply more physically developed than the younger boy. No, Eraqus most definitely didn't _want_ to hurt Ven. The fact remained, however, that he _had_ , and that made her blood boil.

Her earlier belief was wrong. He didn't go easy on Ven. Eas _ier_ , yes, but not easy. Nowhere near easy.

Eraqus removed his helmet, revealing a genuine smile lined with the smallest amount of sweat. "I'm proud of you, Ventus. Not only did you make it to the three hour mark, but you used tactics I hadn't been expecting." Aqua thought for a moment that he was talking to himself since Ventus was so immobile as to suggest unconsciousness, but at the slow, shaky raise of his hand in the air in an even more loose approximation of a thumbs up than his earlier one, she realised he was awake and he was okay. Eraqus closed the distance between them and cast Curaga, sealing many of the wounds across his face and hands. "Aqua, please take Ventus back to the castle for rest, and tell Terra to come out." She gave a small bow in acquiescence but couldn't help the look of reproach in her eyes, and her hesitation only drew Eraqus' attention to it. "You feel as though I went too far, don't you?" he quietly asked, unaccusatory but not exactly open to her.

"Yes Master. I do," she responded strongly. "Not to belittle Ven but he's only a child, and you were using techniques you'd only shown Terra and I last week." The fact that Ven didn't protest Aqua's concern only proved how exhausted he truly was. "Ven did well, I can't deny that. But did you really need to beat him so harshly?" She tried to probe, desperately wanting to grill him harder, but her respect for him as her Master restrained her.

"Hmm. Perhaps. We'll discuss this more back at the castle. For now, however...," he trailed off, gesturing to Ventus. As she turned to pick up Ventus he called, "and Aqua, no Curing or Potions. The same goes for Terra, when he returns to the Castle. I've dealt with the genuinely dangerous or otherwise harmful injuries, but the rest they must learn to live with for the next few days as they heal. It's important to their training, and part of the reason why today will be so harsh. You all _must_ learn to endure the pain." She nodded but didn't turn back to him, attention entirely absorbed by Ventus again.

She carried him bridal-style down the mountainside and back to the castle, during which he fell asleep from exhaustion. She quickly moved to his room to lay him down on his bed while attempting to avoid disturbing him. The Master's Curaga had done wonders and had allayed many of her worries, but hands still lightly shook from exertion, and he still had marks, cuts, bruises and the like that she felt would undoubtedly scar.

He'd be the death of her, she thought fondly.

Quietly leaving, she knocked on Terra's door. The dull thuds of his footsteps told of his approach, and when he opened the door he gave her a discomforted look. His hair had been mussed, and the muscles of his shoulder were bunched. He'd been just as stressed as she had been, she supposed. He'd most likely spent the last two hours running grooves into the floor of his room.

He asked, "My head's off next then, huh?" as he rolled his shoulders.

She nodded, speaking quietly as to avoid disturbing Ven. "Yeah. Best of luck."

He smiled in thanks, then drew his face into an expression of concern and anger. "How is he?"

"Alright. He managed the full three hours, but he's in pieces. He'll be okay, but-"

She was interrupted by Terra's growl. "Never should've fought him. Master's too strong to be going around fighting kids like that."

"He's okay, honestly," she said trying to allay his fears, despite the fact that they were her own as well, "but you're not wrong. Master went too far."

The two were silent, both considering the brutal treatment Ventus had received at the hands of their Master.

"Well," Terra said with a sigh, "remember me, I guess." His face and tone was so insincerely forlorn that Aqua couldn't help but laugh.

"Idiot. I'm right after you." She grinned. Terra had the ability to make light of almost any situation – especially whenever he waxed poetic about his woeful fate. "If you're going to get beat up, I'm probably not that far behind."

He responded to her grin with a warm one of his own. "Well then, remember me as I was, and not the state I'll be in when I return, eh?"

He turned to walk away but she grabbed his arm before he left. He looked down in confusion.

"Take care of yourself. Don't do anything reckless, alright?" she whispered, not meeting his eyes.

His eyes softened and he gave her a gentle smile. "Alright." She let go with reluctance and plastered an encouraging smile across her face.

He gave a mock salute and left the corridor, heading up to the mountains. The moment he disappeared from her sight her face dropped. It tore her up to not be there for him. At least with Ventus she had been there, able to carry him back to the castle. Terra, she had to abandon to the mercy of her apparently un-merciful Master.

She was left alone for the next three hours to wander, check up on Ven, and get some last minute practice in before her doom.

She managed ten minutes of actual practice before giving up and waiting in the Great Hall for Terra's return.

She wasn't counting the clock.

She wasn't.

She was organising her mind, preparing tactics, considering strategies. She was _not_ counting the clock.

But exactly three hours, four minutes and twelve seconds later, Terra collapsed through the front door of the main hall, dragging his unarmoured body into the Great Hall.

Aqua sprang up from her position sitting on the steps to the thrones, dashing over to Terra. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked, Curaga bubbling around her hands.

Terra didn't speak so much as groan, lightly batting away the spell but accepting her offer of support, leaning on her. She stumbled from the sudden weight but recovered quickly enough to avoid taking both of them down to the ground.

She looked over his body as she half-carried, half-dragged him to his room It seemed that Eraqus had healed him, the same as he'd healed Ventus, from the tell-tale signs of magic lingering on his skin. Despite that, his hands shook fiercely, much more than Ventus' had, and the muscles of his back spasmed. His eyes were sunken, and every pore of his body was lined in sweat. If she'd not been so worried about him, she might've been somewhat grossed-out by that, but as it was she carried him without a thought.

Reaching his room proved another challenge – how was she going to open the door? Both of her hands were full trying to support Terra. She planted her feet strongly and hoped that she wouldn't wake or disturb Ven as she booted the door with all the might she had. The door, with the groan and squeal of an abused housecat, swung open. She tried to gently lower him on his bed, but it ended up looking much more like a fly-tipping. She would have tried to drop him with more grace, but he was taller than her, heavier than her, and really not being that helpful.

He really was in a state. She'd never seen him like this before – not even when Eraqus had them both carrying boulders up and down the mountainside as punishment for a whole day. That had been an actual punishment, administered because they'd done wrong. This? This felt more and more like unneeded cruelty. Terra'd even been forced to walk back down the mountain on his own!

"That bad, huh," she stated, rather than asked. Terra was silent this time, simply wincing at her and shaking his head.

Terra was the physically strongest person she knew. If he was this bad, she had no idea what Eraqus had done to him to exhaust and pain him to such a degree. It put her back up instantly. She and Eraqus were going to have words after they were done today. This abuse to Terra and Ven was just not _right_.

"Well," she sighed in reluctance, "I guess he's waiting for me."

She turned to leave but was stopped when he grabbed hold of her arm. She looked down at him in concern but a small, tired smile played on his lips. "I'll remember you," he croaked through chapped lips.

It took her a second before she realised what he meant, but when she did she playfully cuffed him on the back of the head. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." His smile didn't dim, it only grew brighter. He'd every confidence in her. They both knew that.

She shut the door behind her gently and waited. Within five minutes, she could hear him snoring and mumbling. Pushing the door open slowly, she crept into the room with a Curaga spell fluttering about in her hands. Carefully, as to not awaken him, she let the spell flow gently over his body. It wouldn't clear all of his aches and pains, but it would help.

Eraqus' command could be damned. Terra and Ven were in pain, unnecessary pain, and she was in a position where she could help them. If she didn't, what kind of a person would she be?

She quickly did the same to Ventus before leaving for the mountain clearing.

The journey was a quiet one. One she spent trying to corral her thoughts into not thinking about her impending trial. Though she didn't really feel the tiredness anymore, she knew that she would be suffering soon enough. Eraqus was right – she had been off all day. She'd improved as the day had gone on, but she hadn't quite been as sharp as she would have liked. She only hoped that the inevitable crash would be staved off by the adrenaline of the fight.

Terra's state had shocked her, though. She'd been there watching Ventus, seen the mistakes he'd made and understood how to avoid them. That Terra, a person undeniably her superior in mêlée Keybladeship, had come back beaten so thoroughly not only made her anxious but also angry. What had he _done_ to Terra for him to be so exhausted? How could their Master be so far ahead of them? Had he not taught them everything? He'd been a Master for years, yes, but they were a month from becoming Masters themselves. She expected that they would at least have been capable of holding their own, and not taken on and thrashed one after another in the same day.

She reached the clearing to find her Master sat in lotus, Master Defender across his lap. Face obscured by his helm, he once again appeared to be a statue rather than a living being.

She cleared her throat as she approached and noticed the slight movement of his head. "Ah," he called, "you've finally decided to grace me with your presence, hm?" His voice held a note of humour, but it also invited an answer. Considering what had held her up - the terrible state of Terra that _he'd_ been the cause of - his tone instantly got her back up.

"Yes Master, apologies for keeping you waiting. I was simply making sure Terra made it to his bed."

"No Curing or potions, I hope?"

"No Master," she said with no hint of deceit whatsoever. She closed the distance between them, stopping at twenty paces from him.

He didn't respond, simply rose from the ground and adopted a neutral standing position, Keyblade loose in his right hand. "Are you ready to begin?"

She took a deep breath, hand moving to the activator on her arm.

Her legs were swept out from under her. She landed on the ground in a rough heap.

"Master!" she cried, scandalized, glaring at him with eyes blazing in indignation.

"You must always be prepared. Our enemy will not wait for you to be ready before it attacks. Get up, quickly."

She flipped up, left hand roughly hitting her activator and right engulfed in Light. A moment later she stood, clad in bluish armour, right hand gripping Rainfall, left hand in front of her body tingling with magic.

For that, she resolved to do her best to actually beat her Master. She would prove to him that she was able, she was strong enough to be a Master in her own right. She wouldn't simply endure the battle as Ventus, and presumably Terra had. She'd analyse him, find his weakest spots, and when the time came, she'd force him to surrender.

She observed Eraqus. The two began circling one another slowly. Her Master refused to commit to any particular stance, shifting between aggressively leaning forward and defensively bracing himself. It made it practically impossible for Aqua to guess what he was about to do – she could only react when she saw him begin to attack.

He blurred into the space between them, already swinging into her flank. She cartwheeled out of the way, using the momentum of the dodge to kick her Master's Keyblade out of the way as her left hand frosted over. She got to her feet, span, and released the Blizzard spell she'd stored in her hand at her Master's face as he recovered. The ice flew across the space between them, right on target, until Eraqus batted the spell away in the downswing of the recovery of his Keyblade. He remained silent, slipping back into the neutral from, giving nothing away.

She was a little insulted, truth be told, that he thought he could down her in such a quick, simple, and underhanded move. Did he think her stupid? Did he think she'd learned nothing?

She sharpened her focus. She'd knock him down and prove her worth if it bloody well killed her.

The next hour or so she spent trying to understand her Master's attack pattern. He never stuck to one form, sliding between aggressive and defensive with the changing of the breeze, and with the same fluidity. Where Ventus was quick and Terra was strong, Eraqus flowed. Each movement had purpose, every step was either to confuse Aqua or strengthen Eraqus. Every swing either tested or misled, until he would act in complete union with his body, striking hard.

She thought she finally had the general gist of his attacks though – if pressed, he would usually parry three times, reflect on the fourth attack, roll out the way and close in on the flank while Aqua was still reeling from the reflection, which would usually result in either her Master winning the resultant exchange of blows, or the two disengaging to circle one another, searching for an opening. If he took the offensive he became much harder to predict, and much harder to defend against. He would either open up with a Light spell or a couple of swift strikes to the head and legs, then swap hands.

She'd never known he was ambidextrous until he'd swapped a half hour ago and smacked her head. It pissed her off that he was effectively fighting with one hand behind his back – even if she was too, due to her style.

He'd then beat relentlessly at her weaker flank, mixing spells into long combos that were nigh on impossible to break through.

The two were circling. She could either take the initiative and start the fight or hang back, keep probing, and hope to find a weakness in his ambidextrous technique.

His feet were grounding: the only sure-fire way of telling he was preparing to strike.

She decided on the offensive, pre-emptively casting a Reflaga and preparing to flit close to her Master. She'd never been the best in the mêlée – that title belonged to Terra for raw strength, or Ven for brutal speed – but she'd always a purpose in _every_ _single_ action. Where Terra would beat through defences, and Ven would slowly chip away at them, Aqua had always fought to circumvent them, to make them entirely ineffectual or even actively turning them against their defendant.

So, when Eraqus' reflexive parry bounced off of her Reflaga, throwing him for a loop, she pressed her advantage with a couple of short attacks to his lower body.

She swung at his gut. He barely deflected.

She swung at his leg. He barely dodged.

She swung at his head. He barely blocked.

His other hand was finally on the blade.

She hadn't the time to feel any joy in that, instead coating the edge of her Keyblade in a weak Blizzard spell.

Usually Eraqus would easily circumvent such a weak spell, but the pressure from Aqua's sudden, uncomfortably placed offensive absorbed the whole of his attention, and as such thought nothing of meeting her incoming Keyblade with his own.

Master Defender clashed with Rainfall in a peal of metal and a crack of ice, promptly freezing to it. Eraqus' head rose, presumably in surprise, and Aqua grinned behind her helm. She pressed in close, used the bond between the blades to pull Eraqus out of stance, cast a weak Fire spell down her Keyblade to melt the bond between them, and swung hard into Eraqus' side.

It connected.

He flew away, bouncing roughly and skidding on ground. A point to her. Sure, he had maybe fifteen points at this point, but it was a start.

A shot of pride ran through her. That was for Ventus. That was for Terra.

He righted himself quickly enough, recalling Master Defender to him, but his movements were far more cautious, his subsequent attacks less aggressive and far more probing. He no longer trusted that every opening he saw was Aqua's mistake, that they couldn't be a trap. She'd not exactly put him on the back foot, but it was clear to both of them that she wasn't either.

* * *

The second hour drew to a close as the sun touched the horizon, painting the mountaintop in shades of rust and blood. Aqua's shadow drew long, smothering Eraqus, her back to the warmth.

She was becoming exhausted. Eraqus was slowing too, she noted with no small degree of pride, but nowhere near as much as her.

Although he'd never recovered his position of dominance over the fight that he'd had before she'd crushed his side, he was pressing her hard and she was getting knocked around far too much for her liking. The bruises she felt rising on her arms and legs were really beginning to ache, and her hands were trembling, much like Ven's and Terra's, from the constant barrage of strikes she had to parry.

If she was to have any hope of actually beating Eraqus and not just weathering the storm, she gave herself another half hour at best. She'd been pulling on her Light for the last few rounds of combat, and now even her heart began to ache and protest at the abuse. She tried to ground herself once again in Eraqus' teachings, but her annoyance at his treatment of Ventus soured each rendition of 'Inner Strength,' and 'Ground oneself in the Light.' It didn't help that the person who'd taught her those mantras was actively trying to knock her out.

A cynical part of her began to wonder if he'd really prepared them, if his teachings were even _enough_ to fight against opponents like him. If he'd deliberately left them weak.

He was half-way through a complex system of strikes when suddenly-

 _They're going to die, and it's because of your weakness. They relied on you, and you have failed them._

Whispers from the very recesses of her mind sprung up, sapping at her strength. She shook her head, trying to clear them but they clung like cobwebs, slowing her mind, dragging her down. She didn't understand what they even meant – who were going to die? Terra and Ven? But why? How could she have failed them? What could she have done so terribly wrong that it _killed_ them? And why did it sound like her own Master was condemning her?

She sluggishly parried twice, prepared to launch her counterattack, and- wait, didn't he usually attack three times before a spell?

Master Defender struck her in the throat.

Her armour took the worst of the blow, but a considerable amount of force had made its way to her flesh. Gagging and gasping as she flew backwards, before rolling and tumbling into a painful stop, she blindly tore her helmet off, trying to get as much air around her and down her throat as she could.

That would have killed her. That blow would have killed her, if not for her armour. And the old man was just standing there, in that _fucking_ neutral style again.

 _You have already proven yourself a failure._

He was grating her, belittling her, mocking her. Eraqus would never have spoken to her like that, or so she once believed. After today, these whispers were sounding more and more believable, more and more _real_.

Their condemnations and insults were burrowing down through her skin, reaching deep, stoking a flame fuelled by her own fears of inadequacy, her terror at the thought of losing Ven and Terra, her resentment at her teaching for making her feel like she couldn't protect them. And all in the voice of the one she'd trusted, before today.

 _I'm sorry Aqua. But this is all your fault._

Within her, the deepest, most desperate rage she'd ever felt ignited. The whispers were confirming what she already knew, that she truly was too weak to protect what she loved, and oh how she _hated_ them for that. She felt that hatred connect with Eraqus – he'd made her feel this way, proven to her that she wasn't capable, wasn't ready, wasn't strong enough.

She had to beat him. She _had_ to. There wasn't any better way to prove herself strong enough to become a Keyblade Master than beat her own in fair combat, was there? She _needed to be strong_. She had, just _had_ to be able to protect her home, to protect Terra and Ven, to prove those leering whispers that took her Master's voice and twisted it to tear into her wrong, to prove her Master himself wrong about her, with his insults to her skills and his undermining of her achievements.

And with that desperation she found a new strength deep inside her heart; chillingly warm, inviting, and _wrong_. It clung to her at contact, as though begging to be used, but she reflexively recoiled from it. To knowingly and willingly tap such a deep, antediluvian power seemed almost _unholy_.

Then she reconsidered. If this man, a man who considered himself their Master, a man who'd been like a _father_ to them, had done so much to hurt them today, and could do so much more in future, why should she hold back? Why shouldn't she tap every single last reserve of power she had? After all, he'd told them to consider this a battle of life and death, as they'd be facing out in the world.

So, she would.

So, she had to beat him. No matter the cost.

She dredged that power up from the depths of her heart, let its vicious cold warmth fill her, let its profane might restore her, and turned to Eraqus teeth bared.

Her eyes blazed a sulfuric gold.

He staggered in shock, and she rushed in, Rainfall already swinging tightly.

This was incredible! She felt every shudder of his Keyblade as it gave way to hers, heard every squeal of metal as his armour took more and more abuse. She felt revitalised, every drop of exhaustion purged from her in a frozen, furious blaze.

Her magic seemed to jump at her, willing, _begging_ to be used, and so she did. Infusing the spells with the power she'd discovered, she released a barrage of magic, weaved it into her techniques, attacked him in ways Eraqus couldn't even conceive of. She almost shattered him with Blizzaga, almost melted him with Firaga, almost _destroyed_ him in a Thundaga that stank of ozone and malice.

A gap in his defences allowed her to strike his face with all the fury of a hurricane, shattering a part of his helmet. Eraqus stumbled, his feet slipped out from under him. Aqua loomed over him as Eraqus' revealed eyes filled with fear looking up at her. The sight almost made her shiver as a harsh smirk slid across her lips.

 _This_ was how she should feel. Powerful, capable, ready to strike down all that dared to threaten her supremacy and her family. Not too long ago, she'd have considered Eraqus part of that family as well, but he'd hurt what she'd held dearest, he'd mocked her ability and strength, and the whispers in her mind used Eraqus' voice, and oh, how she _hated_ those whispers. Staring down at him, heart roiling in bitter satisfaction and burning fury, she didn't hesitate.

He'd never hurt Ventus like that, never bring Terra so low again, she thought as she brought her blade down on his, driving him further down.

He'd never consider her weak again, never demean and belittle her ability again, she thought as she drove her blade down on his chestplate, planting him on his back, helplessly looking up at her.

He'd never-

"Aqua, stop!"

His cry stopped her in her tracks.

Her mind came back to her in a silent, still moment.

Half of her was screaming at her to finish it, to take what was rightfully hers and _dominate_.

The other half was shuddering in terror at the thought.

Her mind wasn't her own.

 _Her mind wasn't her own._

She dropped her Keyblade, hands flying to her heart and head as she slumped to the floor. Her mind and spirit were battlegrounds and she was forcefully imposing her order on them, beating the terrible, _awful_ desires back down.

They resisted, _oh_ , how they resisted. She screamed through gritted teeth as the whispers became roars in her ears, pushing her to hurt, to take, to steal, to control, but _it wasn't her_ , and so she fought with every fibre of her being to push the voices back down, to chain them up, to hide them away. Her Light, abused, smothered, flickering, and almost exhausted, was drawn upon as she tried to bring her back into her conscious self. Between the rage of her cruellest desires and the weakness of her Light, she felt herself slipping back under that dark haze again.

That would not stand. With sheer force of will, she dragged her mind back under her control, and with a cry that made her vocal chords bleed, she caged the pure militant malevolence that had overtaken her.

And for a brief, crystal clear second, she was herself again.

She looked up in relief, saw Eraqus' concerned, scared eyes, and collapsed as black overtook her vision.

* * *

 **Dun dun duuun! Shock and horror! Aqua's fallen to and is using the Darkness! And only in the third Chapter!**

 **Don't worry, she hasn't succumbed. There will be severe consequences for her little soiree with the Darkness however, and she will be feeling the effects of this for quite some time.**

 **This is what one could describe as the instigating incident in this little downward spiral we're journeying on. The nightmare helped push her over the edge, but it is this incident that marks our first true instance of Aqua's anger and over-protectiveness getting the better of her.**

 **Please tell me what you think of my characterisation so far. I do worry that I'm moving slightly OOC, but my intention is to have all characters act in character, and have their in character traits simply used against them - i.e Aqua's protectiveness leading to, well, this entire chapter.**

 **Also, I forgot to put in an AN in the last chapter. I'm a very intelligent writer, can't you tell? Regardless, I wanted to thank Patrick the Observer and an unknown Guest for Reviewing. It means the world to me, as do the follows this story has recieved. The fact that some people are genuinely interested in this little thought exercise warms the cockles of my heart, if you'll pardon the colloquialism. Patrick sir, I hope I'm keeping that interest.**

 **This chapter has come quite soon after the last, and as such I wouldn't go around expecting another update for a while - I need to catch up with, you know, writing and editing the story before putting it up here. I merely wanted to put this scene up ASAP, as I felt the last chapter was somewhat lacklustre on it's own and needed it's natural continuation - this.**

 **Every single view this Fic gets makes my day brighter. If you're enjoying it, please share it to others who may be interested, and Follow/Favourite/Review. I appreciate every single one of you, because trust me, I know what reading bad FF is like. The fact that some of you have decided to ride the boat for this one really makes my day.**


	4. Chapter 4

Terra awoke with a start. A bang had travelled down the halls and through his door, interrupting his otherwise peaceful slumber. Bleary eyes looked at the slit in the curtains and noticed that no light poured through. Night-time then. So, probably the same day as his fight. Huh, he thought. He felt surprisingly well, considering the absolute massacre that had been his fight with his Master. He put it down to his general physical well-being. He was much more interested – and worried – about what states Ven and Aqua would be in.

Ven, he knew, was in a bad way when he got back, as Aqua'd told him.

But Aqua herself?

Hang on. That bang, that must have been her coming back!

He clambered to his feet, feeling stiffness in his knees and back, but not much else, and rushed to the door, peering out into the hallway.

The doors hadn't opened, he realised. No one was coming yet.

"Is she back yet?" Ven's voice startled him, and he whipped his head around to see his head also peeking out, looking down the corridor. Aside from his heavy-lidded eyes, which he put down to having been woken up like him, he looked fine too. Huh. Strange.

"I dunno." He turned his head to look back down the hall. Still nothing – he could only hear the faintest of footsteps echoing from beyond the halls. Damn, he thought, she must be in agony. He turned back to Ventus and asked, "I'mma go and help her to her room. You coming?"

Ven didn't reply verbally, but he yawned, rubbed his eyes, and nodded. Terra couldn't help but smile. Ventus tried so hard to be like him and Aqua, but at the end of the day he still looked like a kid. He was glad Aqua seemed to have exaggerate his injuries, and that Eraqus hadn't gone too far with the little man.

The two made their way down the passageway to the Great Hall. It was quiet and dark – unnatural, Terra thought. He was so used to the brightness of the castle at day that seeing it at night always put him on edge slightly. It just felt wrong to have a place so filled with Light to be in such grim shades. "Come on," he grumbled. He just wanted to make sure Aqua was alright, then he'd head back to bed. Ven mumbled in reply, still not fully awake, and shuffled to keep up with Terra's increased pace.

The sight in the Great Hall awoke them both.

Eraqus was dragging Aqua's slumped, still armoured body through the centre of the room. His face was pained and drawn tight. Terra quickly catalogued that he was favouring his left side, and he limped slightly.

"What happened?" Ven's quiet, shocked question gave voice to everything Terra thought.

Eraqus' head snapped to them. He hadn't noticed them as they'd come in, which proved to Terra just how beat up he really was. That didn't matter though. What mattered was the fact that Aqua was supporting exactly zero of her own weight.

She was out cold.

Eraqus stumbled, and Terra rushed to the two of them, slipping his arm under Eraqus' to help bear the weight. "Ven, hold the doors open. Master, you got her?" He nodded and breathed deeply. "Alright, let's go."

Bloody hell! She was heavier than she looked – something probably not helped by the armour, but there was nothing either of them could do about that. Only the owner could deactivate the armour. They'd just have to shoulder the extra weight.

They laid her down gently. Her face twitched and spasmed, but it seemed in surprisingly good shape. No bruises or cuts. Whatever had happened, she physically looked fine, which meant that Terra was at a _complete_ loss as to what was wrong.

"Master, did you heal her?" Ven, once again with the critical questions, turned to the man in question who was bracing himself against the wall of the room, breathing heavily.

He shook his head. "No. Come with me. We need to talk."

Eraqus limped out of her room and Ventus followed. Terra lingered at the doorway, watching Aqua's fitful sleep with a frown. He pulled the door slowly, watching as the shadow of the door crept across her face, and closed it with a soft click.

* * *

Eraqus' study had always made Terra feel safe. He had no idea why – perhaps it was the fact that it was where his Master spent much of his time, the person he could turn to if he ever felt out of his depth or afraid, or perhaps it was because it was the place where he'd first met the man, as he'd first been dropped off at the Land of Departure.

He'd been five, or six at most. He could remember his parents leaving him there, on the steps up to the Castle, and he could remember a small, blue-haired girl stood in the courtyard, swinging around a Wooden Keyblade that was almost longer than she was. He remembered that she smiled at him and shook his hand, despite the fact that he was so nervous that his hands sweated and he couldn't form a sentence. He remembered her leading up to the Castle after he'd explained everything, remembered her showing him around the rooms and halls, and remembered her taking him to this very room. She'd opened the door with some trepidation, but he never understood why. The man within had smiled at them, been kind and understanding, and had told him he'd a strong, Light heart, and said that he'd only be happy to take him on as an apprentice. The room was connected to that warmth, that compassion, that kindness to him. The room to Terra was one of the first places he'd ever experienced belonging. It meant safety.

Now, however, in the grim shades of the night, the room felt empty, the high ceilings loomed, and the warmth had been muted. As he and Ventus sat across from Eraqus and watched as he slowly caught his breath, slumped in his chair with his eyes closed, he only felt one thing – a deep, deep feeling of worry.

"Have either of you, at all, ever noticed any sign of Aqua losing herself to Darkness?"

His question stunned them both. He eyed the two of them severely, still breathing deeply.

"Wh- _what_?" Terra stuttered unbelievingly. Ven hadn't yet recovered the power of speech, still staring slack-jawed at their Master. At Eraqus' hard look, Terra continued, "No, _no_ , Master. I've, we've, she's never, I mean, it's _Aqua_!"

Aqua, bastion of Light, Eraqus' first (and though he would never admit it, favourite) student, losing herself to Darkness? The very idea was beyond absurd.

"Master, what happened up there?" Ven repeated. Eraqus' eyes dropped to the table and he heaved a deep sigh.

"I fear that Aqua…no, I…" he paused, trying to reorganise himself. Terra had never before seen Eraqus so uncollected. "During her fight with me, Aqua almost entirely gave herself over to her Darkness." His eyes closed. "She almost killed me."

Terra's fingers felt numb. Pins and needles shot up his arm. His mind went blank. He felt sick, his heart was thudding in his ears.

This was a nightmare.

He felt the urge to summon Earthshaker. He wanted to run to Aqua and make sure she was okay. He wanted to take Ventus and hide, somewhere far, far away.

Was this reaction extreme? Maybe, yes. But from the ragged breathing of Ven, Terra knew he was reacting the same way.

They were raised from childhood to fight the Darkness and to protect the Realm of Light. The three of them understood that when they'd first manifested their own Keyblades. It was the very heart of everything Eraqus had ever taught them, the very core of all their beliefs. Yes, they'd all struggled with their own Darknesses (well, Terra assumed Ventus had – unlike Aqua, he'd never said so), but they'd never allowed it to take hold, to get sway. It was who they were.

Aqua was the embodiment of that for Terra. She embodied everything an Apprentice to a Keyblade Master should be, he'd always thought – scholarly, with an unwavering faith, and an iron will.

In fact, Terra had thought that, of the three of them, he was the one who struggled with keeping a hold on his Darkness the most. Though he loved Aqua like a sister, he always felt, deep within the very recesses of his heart, thrums of jealousy whenever he saw her excel where he didn't. He aspired to be like her, but some part of him, the dark part, resented her privileged post as their Master's best student. It drove him to always better himself, to always seek to get stronger. It wasn't that he didn't want to play second fiddle, it was that he wanted to be able to say that he deserved to play the fiddle in the first place.

The fact that Aqua had almost killed their Master while in the throes of her Darkness wasn't just contrary to everything the three of them believed, it was contrary to everything he thought he knew about Aqua.

He distantly thought that the dark, base part of him should be vindictively satisfied at this, the downfall of the great, Light, perfect Aqua. It wasn't that he _wanted_ to feel like that, but he thought he knew himself pretty well, and he expected the Darkness in his heart to revel in that.

But it didn't. Because what Eraqus had just said made no sense.

And then he remembered the hard, cold look in her eyes when she spoke of Ventus' state after his fight, and how Eraqus had gone too far. He remembered the distance she'd had in the morning, how she'd been off in her own world and uncharacteristically quiet. Had she been struggling with the Darkness then? Or was it something else?

"I believe," Eraqus started, breaking the silence, "that I may know what caused her to draw upon the Darkness. But first, I must ask, did the two of you feel that Aqua had been not quite herself today?"

Terra nodded. Ven frowned. "I didn't notice anything," he said.

"Not to be cruel, Ven, but you wouldn't notice your head was on fire until someone poured water on it." Had he not been so shaken by Eraqus' declaration, Ven would have made a face at Terra. As it was, he just looked at him and shrugged before his gaze returned to the middle distance, and he started thinking about the revelation again.

"Very well," Eraqus sighed, "I'm…glad is the wrong word for it, I suppose, but relieved to know that I wasn't the only one to notice. It's something to go from." He rested his elbow on the desk and began rubbing at his eyes. "I can't help but feel I'm to blame here. If I'd not pushed her so hard, or maybe if I'd pushed her _harder_ …" he mumbled. Terra wasn't exactly sure they were meant to hear that.

Eraqus cleared his throat and straightened in his chair. "Before I go on, I must also ask, do you feel that I went too far today?" He fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable.

The heart of the matter. The memory of seeing Ven getting tossed around and beat up like some oversized doll in the mouth of a Pitbull still made the back of his throat burn.

"Yes." Terra replied with no hesitation. Eraqus' head dropped to his chest.

"I see." Terra watched Eraqus take deep breaths to collect himself again and looked over at Ven as he winced. It hurt, but it was true. It was uncomfortable, but accurate. He had crossed a line. "I feel that Aqua felt the same. It was partly, I believe, why she fell as she did." Terra turned back to Eraqus. "This is something we will have to discuss more at a later date," their Master continued, "and when it's not such an unholy hour. However, I believe that Aqua felt the same. Her anger at my treatment of the two of you opened her heart to her darker emotions. She was driven to beat me, as though to avenge the two of you, which pushed her further down that dark path in turn. This, I believe, is the core of the matter. Aqua-"

"Master," Ven interrupted, surprising both Terra and Eraqus, "Aqua pushes herself to the edge. That's what she does. She trains and trains until she can't anymore because that's who she is. Yeah, we joke that she's like my older sister, but she takes that seriously." He scratched the back of his head in discomfort. "She just wants to protect us, all the time. Me especially, but Terra too. It doesn't matter to her that they're both almost Masters, because in her mind she's the one who has to take the burden of supporting us. She was the first, so has to be the best." Ven rarely interrupted, but when he did it was because he had something he just _needed_ to say. For someone who was so often oblivious to the world around him, Ventus had the extraordinary ability to understand people, to see the true characters of those around him.

"Indeed. I've seen that too." Eraqus began to stroke his moustache in thought. "As much as I hate to say it, such positive traits like loyalty can be twisted into versions of themselves which, ultimately, though not malignant in intent, lead one to the Darkness. And, indeed, you're right. Especially since you arrived, Ventus, Aqua has always been driven to excel. Even today, before she drew upon her Darkness to beat me, she was constantly exceeding my expectations. To become not only strong, but the strongest, not only Light, but the Lightest." He paused, frowning. "Which is why this is so…unnerving. She'd always been so strong, so stalwart in my teachings before…" His voice trailed off. Once again, Terra felt as though he and Ventus were being treated to their Master's private thoughts. His battle with Aqua had really taken the wind out of his sails. It was a rarity to see the insides of Eraqus' mind, but right now all it spelled was trouble.

He refocussed on the two of them. "Very well. I shan't keep you from your beds any longer. I imagine that the three of you would like to spend much of the day together tomorrow. She will need the support of her friends – I can't judge what her reaction will be once she realises that she almost fell, but I cannot imagine that it will be positive. I will also ask that you approach the subject tactfully," he gave a significant look to Ventus, "and help strengthen her resolve in the Light. I will be speaking to her at some point, hopefully to clear the air between us and make amends for our mistakes, but it is _imperative_ that she resists the call of the Dark. If we lost Aqua to Darkness…" his eyes took a misted, haunted look, "then the repercussions would be...dire at best, and incalculable, at worst."

* * *

Ventus and Terra said their goodbyes and left. The journey back to their rooms was conducted in total silence, but what could they say? Terra certainly had no idea – an axiom of his entire life had been shaken out from under him, and he had no clue how it had happened or what it meant. Ven's silence could only mean one thing: the boy's intense discomfort. The pristine image of his unshakable, untouchable, unflappable older sister had been shattered – how else was he supposed to feel?

Terra resolved to help Aqua any way he could. He understood what it meant to struggle with his Darkness – he'd been doing it quietly for months, if not years now. If any of that experience, any at all, could help Aqua then he'd consider it all worthwhile. At the end of the day, the three of them were a team. He would never abandon her, just as she would never abandon him or Ven.

But wasn't that part of the problem? Eraqus had said that her unshakable loyalty to the two of them had been what caused her to draw upon her Darkness. He'd always known that she was protective of them, but what Ven had said earlier surprised him, clarifying much of what he thought he knew about Aqua.

And Eraqus was clearly at a loss what to do. He wanted to encourage her to be stronger, obviously, but believed that encouragement had pushed her to become the best. She'd always excelled – but that drive to excel had caused her to fall. She was entirely loyal to Ven and Terra – which in turn had pushed her over the edge to avenge them, even against their own Master. She was always so Light – and yet, she'd used the Dark.

Of course, the reason for her fall had to be something so good and pure as too much loyalty, the crags in his heart whispered in spite.

He found that blocking the words out wasn't as hard as before. Knowing that someone else, someone he respected, someone he loved, was struggling just as much as he was (if not more) actually made it easier.

Not only that, but Ventus needed someone to look up to. Thought Terra knew that Ventus loved Aqua, he had no idea how the young apprentice would take Aqua almost falling to Darkness. Would he respect her just as much? Would his admiration of her stay the same? Or would the connection, no matter how unwilling, between Aqua and Darkness drive a wedge between them?

Terra had to resist the call of Dark at all costs, not just for his sake now, but for Ven's as well. Before, part of him knew that Aqua would always protect Ven. Now, the truth was, he didn't. He knew she would always act in ways that she thought were protecting Ven, but today had proven that those ways weren't always right. If she'd actually done the unthinkable, actually killed their Master and fallen completely to Darkness, simply because she resented Eraqus for hurting the two of them, Terra had no idea what she, or what they, would have done.

He hoped he could trust her completely again, but right now, he needed to be rooted in the Light, in case she fell to the Dark.

Ven and Terra stood in the hall. Side by side, they watched the door to Aqua's room with compassion, sympathy, and fear.

"Terra?" Ven's voice was small. Terra hadn't heard him like this since he was first brought here.

"Yeah little man?"

"Could you…I mean, I don't wanna…" He took a breath to gather himself. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Sure thing."

They hadn't done this in years – not since Master Xehanort had last visited, and Ventus had nightmares for almost a week. And yet, Terra was thankful Ven had asked. Truthfully, he hadn't wanted to sleep alone tonight either. It would have been weird, he thought, to ask Ven. But since Ven had asked, he was just fulfilling his role as big brother, helping to comfort his little bro.

The two lay down on Terra's bed, mumbled their night-time wishes to one another and turned off the lights.

An hour later, neither had even closed their eyes.

Terra thought back to his own fight with Eraqus – he'd spent so much time thinking about Aqua's and Ventus' that he hadn't really had the time to examine his own.

He hadn't beat Eraqus, that was for sure, but equally he didn't go in expecting to. He was angry at his Master going in because of his treatment of Ven, but as he fought more and more, the more he understood that he was simply trying to push them to their limits, to get them to _endure_. He understood his motives. It still meant that he'd crossed the line, though, with Ven. The difference, he supposed, between him and Aqua's responses, was that he'd gone on to understand why, whereas Aqua's protectiveness must have blinded her.

He thought back to the three-hour mark, as he stood, muscles locking and sweat pouring off of him, as he was rewarded with a smile of sheer pride from Eraqus. Yeah, Terra'd been proud then. He'd taken everything his Master had thrown at him, and he stayed standing three hours later. The fight had been hard, it had been brutal, it had been a bloody massacre, but he'd proven that he could take it.

How he'd ached as he made his way back to the castle – in truth, it was a miracle that he'd made it back at all. Yeah, he was a little annoyed that Eraqus hadn't helped him back down the mountain, but he had cast a Curaga spell on him, and at the end of the day he wanted to be able to show that he could still walk, still make it back, despite the absolute battering that he'd gotten.

Perhaps his little remark to Aqua had been too far. He'd though the little 'I'll remember you' was funny at the time, but had it made her overestimate how much pain he was in (not that he wasn't pain, mind you)?

And was he now overthinking it? Could he have stopped this in any way? Was he over examining things, or was he right? He couldn't tell. He couldn't stop thinking about it, either. Yeah, he'd been beaten up – but he knew he would be. He hadn't thought that Eraqus had gone too far with him – so why had Aqua? And had he, in any way, pushed her to go as far as she had against Eraqus?

He started staring holes into the ceiling.

Another hour passed.

"Ven?" he called out quietly, hoping not to disturb the boy if he was asleep.

"Yeah?" His reply was instant and sharp, no hint of sleep. He was struggling to sleep too, then.

"In the morning, we're gonna show Aqua that she doesn't ever need to use the Darkness. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Don't worry. She'll be fine. We just have to…to help her. Like how she's always helped us, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So now, we show her that she can rely on us. She doesn't have to carry the burden all by herself. Okay?"

"Okay."

The two fell silent for another ten minutes.

"Terra?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to lose her."

Terra swallowed. "You won't. _We_ won't."

"How can you know?"

He didn't. In all honesty, he had no clue what to do. "I just do. Okay? As long as we show her that-that we're stronger together, in the Light, she'll be fine. We'll all be fine. Alright?"

Ventus was quiet for a long time. Just when Terra thought he'd fallen asleep, he felt a small hand touch his own. He grabbed it and squeezed reasurringly.

"Alright?"

"…alright."

The two didn't let go.

* * *

 **Good evening, one and all. At time of writing, it is 4:24 in the morning. As such, please forgive me if this chapter has any glaring grammatical or spelling mistakes. I simply wanted to make sure I got another chapter out before next week.**

 **What's going on next week, I don't hear you ask because this form of communication doesn't allow for it? Well, dear intrepid reader, I am taking a holiday next week to shoot plastic ball bearings at my friends and others at the National Airsoft Festival in Dorset, England. As such, I'm going to find it difficult to write much during that trip, and so the next chapter may be some time - I hope not, but I'd rather not promise something and be unable to deliver.**

 **This chapter comes with a change in perspective, and is much more focused on characterisation than my previous few. I was anxious in changing perspectives, but I hope that I've done Terra's character justice, as well as explored a reasonable reaction from him to the last chapter's going on. The same goes for Eraqus and Ventus, of course. Please tell me if I've dun goofed or done it well. Eraqus is especially interesting (and difficult) to write from other people's perspectives - trying to show that he's holding it together for his apprentices, while also doubting his own abilities thanks to one of his students nearly falling, is a challenge. I've also tried to illustrate that each of them believes that their fight with Eraqus was entirely fair, but that they considered his fights with the apprentice/s younger than them a bridge too far. Tell me if it comes across like that.**

 **Also, are you interested in more changes in perspective? I will have to have a couple, as story progression demands, but would you adverse to more, if needs be? Please tell me in a review.**

 **I'd like to thank Patrick the Observer, again, for reviewing - again, it means the world. I get what you meant about it being a bit rushed, so this chapter has taken a much slower pace because of that. Yay/nay? Good/bad?** **I have to say that I do struggle with pacing somewhat - my natural writing style jumps from scene to scene, so trying to slow down and explore what happens between them is difficult. I'm still jumping from scenes, but hopefully to scenes that exhibit more? I don't know, it's difficult. If I ever finish this, which I hope to do, I may well sit down and do an entire rewrite - after all, I have no Beta or editor, so I have no doubt that when I go back over this I'll realise I've made some terrible writing mistakes.**

 **I'd also like to thank DJNetwork, DragonEmperor1992, DragonIroh, Guyver333, SecondaryShade, and Vigriff. Your Favourites and Follows all mean the world to me. I hope I'm keeping you interested.**

 **This AN is getting ridiculously long now. I'll love you and leave you. Cheerio!**


	5. Chapter 5

There was a monsoon raging in her heart. The station was getting beaten by dark, cold rain, gales battering the glass sides, rocking the entire platform. Aqua was drenched, her breath came out in puffs of white, but she didn't shiver at the cold.

Her focus was entirely dedicated to the cracks running across the surface of the station. The bright stained-glass depiction of herself, Terra, and Ventus was lined with splits that seeped darkness throughout the whole of the station, like a miasma. A distant peal of thunder rocked the world. She struggled to maintain her footing as the cracks of the station widened.

Before her stood the Door. The Door that she'd stood before that day, so many years ago, when she first used the Keyblade. After talking to Eraqus, she understood that it represented the road deeper into her heart, but the state of it didn't bode well. The frame was cracked, the handle was rusted, and the wood seemed splintered.

She didn't want to walk through. She had no idea what going through that Door would bode, but she felt like it would be a deep, _deep_ mistake to try it. With her heart in so much obvious turmoil, going even deeper could do damage that she'd never fully understand.

There was no voice, she realised suddenly. Every time she'd Dived before, and every time Ven or Terra had dived, they all experienced a disembodied voice speaking to them. Now, there was only the wailing of the wind, and the patter of the rain. She suddenly felt very lonely, and very afraid.

"You're a fool."

The voice behind her startled her and she span around, reflexively calling her Keyblade only to find that Rainfall didn't come. Her hand felt naked without its comforting weight, and her dismay at her disarming almost caused her to miss the figure before her.

In front of Aqua stood Aqua. The rain made it difficult to see at first, but she'd seen the shape of that body and look of those clothes enough in the mirror to recognize what was before her. A twisted reflection of herself.

Her mirror image didn't make eye contact. She was crouched, running unnaturally pale fingers along the cracks in the station. They came away black.

"We had the opportunity we needed to finally take what was ours, and you backed away from it all." The duplicate's golden eyes locked with her own, framed under hair that had been bleached white. "You utter fool," she spat.

Aqua couldn't understand. What was _happening_ here? Why did the depths of her heart feel so putrid? So oppressive? "This isn't, isn't right," she muttered, eyes flitting between the damaged floor beneath her and her intimidating doppelganger, hands raising as she took a step back.

"No, you stupid girl, this _is_ right. This has been right all along." Her reflection's voice dripped with contempt and, if Aqua wasn't hearing things, sadness. "This was your, _our_ , opportunity to take everything we'd ever wanted. We had everything _right_ in our grasp!" She launched to her feet, invading Aqua's personal space and sneering into her face. " _Right there_! And you tossed it all away! You finally found who you truly are, finally found _me_ , and you abandoned it all at the _last damn second!"_ she screamed into her face, spitting rainwater.

The thick, cloying, numbing smell of darkness invaded Aqua's nose.

She understood now.

This was a test. One she'd thus far entirely failed. She was stood at the core of her heart, and in her training with her Master she'd allowed the darkness to slowly seep through. She'd almost entirely succumbed.

"No," Aqua rejected. "No, I've given up nothing." She pushed her dark reflection away in disgust. "You're everything I despise! Everything I fight against! You're my weakness!"

Her reflection took a step back, face revealing shock, disbelief and resentment. "Oh, oh, really?" she started to cruelly chuckle, and then laugh, and then hysterically roar. She fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face, eyes scrunched up in a mixture of pain and humour. "Is that so? And who taught you that? Your beloved Master?"

"Don't you dare sneer at him! He's done more for me than you have ever done!"

"Oh, of course!" The reflection rose to her feet, still laughing from the dying throes of her hysteria. "So much, like almost killing you and your friends."

Aqua grit her teeth. She was trying to stop the words from getting under her skin but she found that they struck a chord within her. She tried to tell herself that her anger at him was darkness poisoning her mind, that her fury at his treatment of Ven and Terra was unjustified, but even now, in full possession of her faculties, she felt that he'd gone too far.

But now wasn't the time to be judging his teaching methods – she was fighting for her very heart. It was just the darkness trying to get to her, she told herself. She'd talk to him about it later, when she wasn't actively engaged in verbal combat with her darker self for the sake of her being.

Aqua grounded herself in Eraqus' teachings, as she so often done, dredging the light from her heart to shield her from the relentless, soaking rain. The station brightened and the cracks seemed to soften, but the rain beat down just as heavily, if not more so.

Her reflection shielded her eyes from the brightened iconography below her. "You stupid _idiot_! You take his lessons deep into your soul, into your very heart, and fail to recognize the truth of them!" Aqua was suddenly hoisted by the front of her vest by the reflection, forced to look straight into pained, hating gold. "Everything he gives you would ruin you! Everything he teaches chips away at a piece of _who you are_! You trust him so much that you can't see that he's using you! You love your Terra and Ventus so damned much, thinking that his lessons will help you keep them close, but you can't see that he'd rip them from you in a second! He doesn't want you, Aqua! He doesn't care! He wants a Templar, a mindless, soulless, emotionless husk filled to the brim with light, to fight the Darkness at whatever cost! Go through that door," she gestured towards the door deeper to her heart, "and see the damn _truth_! You go through that door, and you'll understand! He would take everything from you, if it meant you would join his crusade! He gives you nothing disguised as everything!"

"And what the _hell_ would you give me?" Aqua demanded as she squirmed, trying to free herself from the iron grip of her duplicate.

"Everything!"

There was no sound but the wind and rain.

"Wh- _what?"_

"I'd give you everything! The power to keep Ventus and Terra safe, the power to protect your home, the power to _stand above,_ and say, 'Nothing will threaten me or mine again!'" her eyes had gone desperate, and she no longer had Aqua lifted off the ground, though her hands were still wrenched in her vest. "I _am_ you! He'd have you deny me! I'd have you accept me, and in return, I'd give you _everything_!" she screamed before drawing in on herself. Her head had dropped onto her chest, the sheer image of defeat.

"But at what cost?" Aqua quietly asked. The doppelganger's head shot up, and she released her. Aqua took a few steps back, watching the other constantly. "Terra and Ven fight for the Light, the same as me. I fall to darkness to keep them safe, and what happens? They fear me. I become the very thing we've devoted our lives against! They'd never understand-"

"So you make them understand! You take my power, you take _me_ , and you _make_ them see things our way! You _make_ them trust you again! You _make_ them see that they belong by your side, no matter the cost! That _this,_ " she gestured around them, "is right!"

"They'd run away from me, or even try to kill me! I'd become a threat to everything they'd ever held dear! I'd become a mockery of my own memory, of my own beliefs!"

"It's better than them being dead! It's better than being alone!"

Aqua had no idea what to say after that, and her mirror image seemed to have exhausted herself as well.

"Just…go through the Door." Aqua didn't move. Her doppelganger simply scowled and looked away. "Of course you won't. You refuse to take what's right in front of you." She looked back, face twisted. "It will destroy you, and everything you love."

The two lapsed back into silence warily watching each other. The rain beat down heavier and heavier, until the dark water drowned out the light of the station, and everything eventually dimmed into black, unease filling her heart.

* * *

She awoke suddenly, ready to fight.

Foggy-minded and misty eyed, she analysed her surroundings, hand twitching to summon Rainfall.

Her bedroom. She was safe. Her back dropped back against the bed, as she calmed her heart.

Suddenly, she remembered what had happened the day before. The events of the fight played around and around in her head – her Master's brutality towards Ven, Terra's exhausted and physically ruined state when he returned, Eraqus' quiet little insults to her ability in their battle, and…

Her heart stopped in her chest. No. She couldn't have.

No.

She hadn't fallen.

She simply hadn't. She couldn't have. It simply couldn't be – her whole life was centred around the Light!

She felt bile burn the back of her throat, felt her heart start pounding, felt dizzy.

No matter how much she wished otherwise, the facts remained. She remembered being stood at the mountaintop, filled with the most bitter, vile anger she'd ever felt, and the malice that came from the pits of her heart to meet it. She remembered beating Eraqus down with the active intent to kill him. She remembered the look of terror in his eyes on the floor, and wrestling control of her mind back to what she knew was herself, and not the putrid Darkness in her heart.

She dashed to her feet and ran to her toilet. Vomit scorched the insides of her throat and mouth. Her breath came in pants and gasps.

For half an hour, she took solace in feeling ill, and avoiding the thoughts that had made her so sick in the first place. She emerged feeling drained.

She dropped back onto her bed and covered her eyes. She couldn't believe it. Shame flushed up her neck and tears pricked at her eyes. She'd failed. Not just Eraqus, but also Terra and Ven. They were meant to be together, united in the Light, and she'd almost gone and fallen completely and totally to the Dark!

 _So you make them understand!_

Unlike her nightmare the night before, the memories of the Dive to her Heart came to her readily, the exchange between her and her darker self in the wounds of her heart all too clear. She'd come so close to fully succumbing. So close, and the fact was that she hadn't even realised it at first. She'd been so caught up, so driven to beat Eraqus, that she hadn't realised that her anger had slowly been poisoning her heart.

But that anger wasn't wrong! That was the worst part. She felt, even now, that it was entirely justified. Eraqus had _hurt_ Terra and Ven. Not only that, but he'd then had the audacity, the damned _temerity_ to consider her weak! And-

She felt something bubbling in her heart and stopped her thoughts instantly.

Maybe her Master had a point. Maybe she was weak. She couldn't even feel her own emotions without spurring on the Darkness in her heart. Once again, another piece of her own domain had been surrendered. Originally, it had been her mind to the nightmare. Now it was her emotions to the Darkness. She was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to feel fully in control of herself ever again.

The floodgates were open now. Their Master had always lectured that one never gave Darkness solace – one searched for it, and destroyed it. If one allowed it to fester, one allowed it to grow. If one fed it, one would be consumed. She hadn't just fed it – she'd practically given it a three-course meal, and now was baying for seconds. She could feel it deep within herself, like leaden poison – it tasted bitter on the back of her tongue.

Heaving a sigh, she hoisted herself up from her bed and went to rub her eyes, only to almost poke them with her gauntlets.

Today's shaping up nicely, she thought bitterly.

She deactivated her armour, cleared the sleep from her eyes, and moved to her closed window, hoping to get some fresh air. Pulling back the curtains revealed the first rays of morning light. It would be hours before Terra and Ventus awoke, more than usual thanks to their ordeal the day before. The light of the rising sun and cool breeze helped calm her down more. She closed her eyes and let the warmth of the morning wash over her.

It was times like this that she'd usually meditate. She hoisted herself up onto the ledge, as she'd done the night before, and relaxed. Preparing herself to slip back into the calming trace-like state, she drew upon the words and mantras Eraqus had taught them, so many years ago, to help them find their Light.

And she _boiled_.

Her heart rebelled, the Darkness rising like a tide. She could feel her mind cloud over with fury and rage and hate, and-

She stopped herself.

Panting, she drew cooling breaths to sate her burning lungs.

Her fury with Eraqus hadn't yet cooled, it seemed. She had issues, that was sure enough. Now, she couldn't even meditate, since the method she'd always used to enrapture herself into the Light only further helped the Darkness.

She lifted herself from the ledge, disappointed and anxious. How could she combat her Darkness if she couldn't reach her Light? She'd have to face Eraqus, and soon. She needed to clear the air with him, and find some way to get her heart back under her control. Else, she thought, she'd never get her Mark of Mastery.

As she shut the window and walked back into the room, she noticed with a small degree of surprise that she felt absolutely no stiffness from her ordeal the day before. Using the Darkness must have had some positive effect after all, she thought sardonically.

That train of thought got stopped at the station. No, the Darkness had no positives. It was corrosive, it was corruptive, it was a force of terror and evil that had to be destroyed.

And she'd almost succumbed to it.

Gritting her teeth, she fled the room to escape her thoughts and went to make some coffee in the kitchen for the others when they woke up. The halls were quiet, the only sound the tapping of her feet on the hard wooden floors.

It was rare that the Land of Departure seemed ominous, and yet Aqua felt unnerved walking down halls she'd travelled through for almost two decades all the same.

* * *

Approaching the kitchen, she expected to make coffee, wait for the others, talk to them, and then go seek out Eraqus to confront him about yesterday.

What she wasn't expecting was to see Eraqus stood in the kitchen, back towards her, facing the window. It caught her up short.

"Good morning Aqua."

She didn't respond. She had no idea how to, after all that had happened the day before. The fury she'd felt still hung about her, drawing sharp lines across her face, but her eyes burned with the shame that she'd been feeling ever since she'd awoken.

He sighed, turned and gestured towards a seat at the table. "Please. We need to talk, and I wanted to speak to you away from the others." His voice was reluctant, and was that a degree of sadness? But she had no idea what was coming. He refused to meet her stare. Was that shame? She certainly hoped so. It would be nice to be on the same page.

She sat down slowly, not taking her eyes off him. He took the seat across from her, silhouetted by the rising sun.

They didn't speak for almost ten minutes. Eraqus seemed to be collecting his thoughts, and Aqua had no intention of starting this particular conversation. They spent the entire time in awkward silence.

It seemed that he'd finally gotten his thoughts in order, as he cleared his throat. "Aqua. We must talk about happened yesterday." She simply watched him. "I know that you like-," he cut himself off and sighed, "no, love, Terra and Ventus as brothers, and they love you as a sister. Ventus looks up to you as a beloved mentor, and Terra admires your abilities as no one else does. You three share a bond that I can only feel envy over." He leaned in towards her, shifting his weight onto the table. "But you must understand, your protectiveness over them must have its limits. I am not only your Master, but theirs too."

"So, that gives you the right to beat them senseless, for no good reason then?" Aqua cut in hotly. This was cutting right to the heart of her anger.

"No. It does not. But it does allow me to do what I feel is necessary to progress them, the same as you. Do you share the same feelings towards my fighting them as to my fighting you?"

"Of course not," Aqua scoffed, "I know what I signed up for years ago. Don't ever think that I'm too weak, or incapable. If I can't handle anything, I will train until I can."

"So, you think Ventus and Terra are weak then?" She looked at him uncomprehendingly. "You are all my apprentices, and I issued you all the same task. You have no problems that I fought you, but every problem that I fought Terra and Ventus?"

"No, that's not what I meant!" She was getting hot under the collar. She didn't think they were weak, just that she had to protect them, that she had to be strong _to_ protect them. She couldn't imagine losing them. "But you beat Ventus until he couldn't walk and did _Light knows_ what to Terra, then forced him to make his way back down the mountain alone!"

"I had every faith in their abilities, Aqua – the training was _meant_ to be demanding. I've trained you all for years, come to respect and appreciate all your capabilities and limitations. I didn't exceed what I thought you were all capable of." That made her bristle, as her mind went back to the casual single-handed grip he had used in his fight with her. Did he truly think she was only as capable as his _one hand?_ "You must remember, when you go out into the worlds to combat the darkness, you will not be fighting in friendly sparring matches. You will be fighting the very essence of evil. Ventus and Terra have to be just as prepared for that as you," he stated in an effort to be reasonable.

"Ventus is just a kid!" she hissed, "a kid whose hands were bleeding so badly at the end of your 'training' that his Keyblade was practically red with it! Terra couldn't even watch, it was that bad!" She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Her natural response was to fall back on the Light mantras he'd taught them, but that just made her angrier at the moment. She pushed it down. "I understand, Master, that we have to be ready for what's out there. That's why I want to be pushed, why I need to become stronger! But Terra and Ven, they…," she trailed off, unable to conjure a reasonable excuse for why they shouldn't have been pushed as hard as she was. "You just can't hurt them like that!"

"So you believe yourself to be the only one worthy of the title of Keyblade Master?"

That caught her up short, so she deflected. "I _have_ to be strong enough to become worthy of the title. Terra and Ventus deserve Mastery, but I _have_ to become a Master, have to become strong enough, no matter what happens."

"You'd go so far as to fall to the darkness for it?"

She drew back, startled at the frank and flat way he'd said that. "I-I, I didn't-," she defended reflexively.

"I felt and _saw_ it, Aqua. You were so absorbed in defeating me, so enraged with me, that you abandoned the teachings of the Light. You sought any road to prove yourself, and let the darkness take control."

Her mouth moved soundlessly as she tried to construct some excuse, some reason, for it.

She couldn't. Her mind was blank, save for the brutal, inescapable fact that he was right.

The shame she'd felt when she'd awoken came back in full force.

Years of training, all faith in the Light, everything she'd worked for, all abandoned in an instant.

She was startled as she felt his calloused hand close over hers on the table and looked up in surprise at his compassionate expression. "I understand Aqua, I truly do. In my Apprenticeship, there were many times that I almost succumbed to the darkness; either through my envy of my peers; or feelings of weakness; or like you, a desire to prove myself strong." He sighed, eyes gazing off into far away memories. "It was only when I understood that the Light was what made me strong that I truly became ready to become a Master.

"And maybe I did go too far with Ventus and Terra, you may be right. And for that, I apologise. But that means I went too far with you too, pushed you to the point that you felt you had to best me to prove yourself, when the only thing you felt you could rely on was your darkness. And for that, I am deeply sorry. I am proud of you all, immensely proud. Every time I see you teaching Ventus the technique to a spell, or see you sharing ice-cream with Terra, or see Terra and Ventus laughing at a terrible joke, or see the three of you together, I am filled with such pride. But with that pride comes fear." He pinned her with a piercing gaze. "Fear that you three aren't ready, that I haven't taught you enough, that the darkness will consume you all whole.

"And I see that you share that fear for Terra and Ventus, that you want to protect them so much that you'd do anything for their sakes, even go so far as to embrace the darkness. But _I_ fear for _you_ too. You must remember, Aqua, that they aren't as weak as you think. I think we can both agree that you didn't exactly pass the test yesterday, hmm?" he asked with a light smile. It didn't stop the shot of shame that ran through her. He was right, she had failed. Out of the three of them, she was the only one not to last the whole three hours. "They did, even if they came back battered and bruised where you didn't. You must learn to let them protect themselves. You can't always be there for them, the same as I can't always be there for you. Such obsessive protection will only hurt them in the end, and I fear it will lead you down a dark, dark path."

The two were silent, Eraqus pleading for understanding in his gaze. Aqua closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'll…," she started hesitantly. "I'll try."

He nodded. "That's all I can ask for. In return, we'll train harder than before. You _are_ strong, Aqua. You've exceeded all expectations I had. Who could've known that the small blue-haired girl I took as an apprentice would grow up to become such a formidable woman? Certainly not I. If I must train you more so that you understand that, and no longer feel the need to pull on your darkness, then that's what we shall do."

 _Nothing, disguised as everything,_ her heart whispered treacherously at her. In that instant, it only confirmed what Eraqus said. She needed more training. She _needed_ to find some way to re-immerse herself in the Light and banish the shades that had taken hold of her heart. She thought back to the black miasma that was leaking through the surface of her heart, how profane and wrong it seemed.

Ventus and Terra chose that moment to burst into the kitchen.

"Aqua!" they cried in unison.

She turned around in surprise. They both looked overjoyed to see her.

She was shocked to see them both awake so early. They both stood there with identical expressions of joy on their faces, but Aqua noticed the hesitation in Ventus' eyes, and how Terra seemed to analyse her face, then body, then arms and legs, as if looking for something wrong.

They must have seen her unconscious as Eraqus brought her back from the mountain, she realised. Her cheeks reddened with shame. They'd seen that she'd failed. Not only that, she'd failed where they'd succeeded, all because she wanted to succeed beyond them. She could only hope that Eraqus hadn't told them what had truly happened up on the mountain.

Eraqus cleared his throat. "I'll leave the three of you to talk. No training today, you're all to recuperate after yesterday's trials."

He caught Terra and Ventus' eyes, giving a meaningful look. They both nodded quickly.

"Have a good day, Apprentices. If you need me, for any reason," he said as he locked eyes with Aqua, "I'll be in my study." He gave a small bow and headed out.

Terra and Ventus sat at the table either side of her. No one spoke for a few moments. Aqua found herself unable to break the silence. She couldn't bring herself to ask what that look was all about, or pretend that everything was normal. She just waited, like the condemned before the executioner.

"The Master told us what happened. About your fight with him," Terra slowly said. He was silent for a second, then added, "I mean, all I gotta say is it was pretty badass that you went all 'Mama Bear' on him for us." He gave her a smile, but it wasn't the soft assured smiles he so often gave. It was hesitant, as though he was desperately trying to avoid poking the proverbial tiger.

"Yeah," Ventus jumped in, speaking rapidly, "I mean, you didn't need to after all, we knew what we were signing up for and all, and, you know, that whole 'using the Darkness' wasn't really-"

"Ven!" Terra hissed.

Aqua groaned and dropped her head onto the table. They _did_ know. Not only did they know she'd failed where they'd succeeded, but they knew she'd used the darkness in the midst of it all.

No-one spoke for a long time, and Aqua took quiet solace in the table. Staring at that, she didn't have to face the disappointment of her friends, or the fact that of the three, she'd been the only one to actually fail.

Very nice grain, actually. Lovely finish, if a bit worn from age. Was it mahogany? It was rich, dark wood, that was for sure. Goodness, the Keyblade Order of old must have been quite wealthy, to afford tables such as these.

"Aqua?"

She refused to look up. She didn't want to see that look of pity. She could hear it in Terra's voice, but to see it would shatter her.

It could do with a gloss, she supposed, but what could she expect? The table had been used to host meals for years. It must have hosted Eraqus many-a-time, having discussions with his own Master. Lovely smoky smell, the wood. She was surprised that it managed to hold it's scent for so-

"Aqua, please, talk to us."

Ventus was breaking out the dirty tactics again – she could just picture the puppy dog eyes that went with that voice.

She raised her head with a groan, but refused to open her eyes.

"Aqua, it's okay. We get it. I was pissed off with Eraqus too."

"Even though you didn't need to be – I was honestly fine-"

"Hang on for a minute, Ven. Aqua, really, if I'd stayed and seen what he'd done I'd have tried to tear him a new one too. He just went way too far, way too quickly, and vastly overestimated Ven's ability."

"Wait a second, I beat the trial th-"

"Ven, seriously, shut up for a second. Aqua, listen. I might have even, er, done what you did too."

"Yeah, I mean, I don't really get why you used the darkness for us, but-"

"Ventus! Dude, shut it." Ven fell silent. "But, just, I don't know." She heard the scratching that accompanied him rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, we're all okay. It's better here than out there, among the worlds, hey? You've got us. Don't lock us out, let us help."

"But what if it _does_ happen out there?" she asked, eyes opening. "What if one of you are out there, alone, injured, and I'm too weak to help you? Both of you passed yesterday, and I didn't! Like Ven said, he passed the trial, the same as you Terra, but _not me_! My weakness has let me, Master, and most of all, you down!"

"You're not weak, Aqua!" Surprisingly, it was Ven that yelled. She looked over at his trusting, pleading expression and felt her heart sink again. "You're not! You did something stupid, sure, but if you hadn't have done that, you'd have passed just the same as us. What did the Master say, Ter?"

"That you'd been consistently beating his expectations, until, you know."

She didn't know whether to feel insulted, again, or pleased. Sure, she'd exceeded expectations, but where exactly had he set them?

"Exactly! You made a mistake, that's all, and not even for a bad reason, really."

"C'mon, Aqua! Don't be so hard on yourself! I still need someone to teach me Fire!" He looked at her with a small smile and wide eyes, as if to invite a laugh, or at least a chuckle.

It brought a smile to her lips. "What, and dust away the ashes of your eyebrows as well?" His resulting grin was blinding.

She sighed. She wanted to move past this, but it felt like a floodgate had been opened, and in poured a deluge of Darkness, doubt, and fear. She was only one person, with one set of hands – how could she hold back the ocean?

She was surprised to find that she'd spoken that aloud. Terra and Ventus' faces almost made her cry. "You're not just one person – you're not alone. You've always got us. Never forget that. We're here for you the same way you're here for us," Terra whispered. "Just, never fall back on the darkness, Aqua. I dunno what I'd do if we lost you to it." His voice broke at the last word.

That firmed her resolve. She wouldn't tread down profane paths for knowledge, not as long as the Light still held the answers and the strength she needed. In her mind's eye her heart finally stilled, the rain no longer poured. While the cracks that ran along the surface still oozed the inky black, she'd not give in.

"And you really don't need to worry about us so much. You can trust us, trust _in_ us, Aq." Ventus smiled proudly. "I mean, Terra's almost a Master too, you know." That gentle reminder hit far harder than Eraqus' ever could. It was true, it was irrational to be so protective of someone who was, in reality, her equal. "And me? Well, you know. I could take both of you, two on one," he finished with a cocky smirk. The little shit, she thought wryly.

Terra scoffed, eyes wide and disbelieving. "You wish, you little squirt! I'd knock you down any day!"

"Oh yeah?" Ventus got out of his chair and slinked down into his usual posture. "Wanna try-" he cut himself off wincing as he gripped his arm. "Ouch. Alright, maybe not today."

Part of her wanted to boil at that. Eraqus had done that, had hurt her brothers. However, she was learning that that part, while not necessarily dark, wasn't exactly letting her think clearly, and her not thinking clearly was dragging her down roads she shouldn't take.

Terra began to lightly chuckle at Ventus' display. "That serves you right."

Ventus grumbled half-heartedly and sat back down.

Her friends needed her in the Light, with them.

So there she would be.

Terra saw the brightening of her eyes and resolve in the lines of her mouth and finally relaxed. Ven Was still mumbling about how, in a pure Keyblade fight, he could beat Terra, but he leaned back in his chair and then began to softly recite the incantation for Fire. His concentration was obviously off as the very ends of the spikes of his hair began to smoke. He remained entirely oblivious until Terra cast a weak Water spell and dumped it on his head.

This was the embodiment of what she wanted. Terra and Ven, safe and happy (even if the latter was damp and yelling at the former).

She was slightly confused as to why Terra seemed so pleased with himself, saying that he was " _so_ right last night, and now you know it," and then busting a gut at Ventus' returning face, but she was content in ignorance for now.

As she laughed along with Terra, she ignored the small part of her that whispered _Everything_.

* * *

 **Goooooood Morning Vietnam! Or rather, the United States, who make up the vast majority of my readers. At time of writing, it isn't even morning in the States, so. Bleh.**

 **Regardless, it's good to be back. Word of warning, we've come to the end of all the material that I've pre-written, so the next update may be some time - I try to write the vast majority of my stories in blocks of a few chapters and refine them over time - this is the last of my the first block, so please don't anticipate another update soon.**

 **Random Bystander, I'm glad to have piqued your interest, and I hope that I can continue to maintain it - many thanks for the Review. Keeper of Worlds, thank you as well - I feel that Aqua's interest in protecting Ven is what makes their relationship so interesting - Terra wants to protect Ven, but Aqua is in many ways the stifling maternal figure, trying to do good but ultimately not.**

 **Right, I'm not going to ramble on in an AN. Just wanted to say thank you all, and please leave a review - it's the only way I can get any real feedback on my writing, and getting a notification that I've received a review always makes me giddy.**

 **Cheers to you all.**


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